


of the days that won’t come

by neotaru



Series: A3! rare pairs week 2020 [4]
Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Pre-Canon, major act 5 spoiler, not grammar checked, small caps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:07:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25335880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neotaru/pseuds/neotaru
Summary: if august were alive, he would nag april for not sleeping enough— but if august were alive, april wouldn’t have to dream about him every time.but sometimes, when his eyes sting from staring at his screen too long, he would remember august even though he’s not asleep.[celebrating #a3rarepairs2020 hosted by @a3_69min on twitter!day 4: lazy morning/restless night - august/chikage]
Relationships: August/Utsuki Chikage
Series: A3! rare pairs week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1829899
Kudos: 12
Collections: A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020





	of the days that won’t come

in doing his job as a member of the organization, april knows exactly what he’s signed up for.

the training prior becoming a member of the organization was harsh. physical trainings were rough, but intellectual trainings were even more difficult. the trainings pale in comparison with what they face in real life. in trainings, they used the rubber bullets that would only leave purplish marks in the hit areas for several days; it was safe. in real situations, though, it’s a metal bullet. one mistake and you might end up dead.

working in the organization is like a death warrant, and april signed up for it. he knows the risks; he accepts it.

_what he doesn’t accept, though, is his ‘family’’s death._

april doesn’t have a family. he used to have one, before he long disassociated himself from them. it doesn’t matter much, since he only remembers this woman who called herself his mother. she wasn’t a great woman and certainly not a good memory to remember, but it’s a memory still. what came after that, april doesn’t really remember until he met august.

to say that august was his saviour would be undermining. august was the one who picked him up off the streets, introduced him to the organization, brought him up well, and gave him the name ‘utsuki chikage’ for their mission in asia. april found warmth in august, something that he could never had in his previous life.

august gave him a family—august, december, and april himself.

_(and in one of the nights where they were both awake—and december was asleep, as usual—they exchanged kisses. april trained how to kiss, to touch, to seduce for the sake of missions, so it wasn’t a foreign feeling when both of their lips met. rather, april was surprised at the warmth and the softness of august’s chapped lips._

_the kiss wasn’t long or intense, but enough to heat up april’s face. he had a good job hiding it, though._

_“you really need to use the lip balms, august,”_

_august gave a fake gasp. “are you going to stop kissing me if i don’t?”_

_“maybe.”_

_“cruel!”_

_april knew august’s lips were mostly chapped because he spent so much time in his lab, so april continued giving august kisses.)_

* * *

april knows the consequence of working in the organization and being an assassin in general. it’s like the give-and-take rule: april takes someone’s life, so his would be taken by someone’s else, too. there’s no guarantee that in every mission he goes, he’d come back safe; the only guarantee he has is death.

august and december are also assassins. they know their risk, too; but april wants them to stay alive, especially in this mission. they’ve got to eat gingerbread cookies again on christmas—it’s only weeks away from now.

_“make sure you don’t mess up on this operation. if he dies because of you... i’m not going to forgive you.”_

_“i know.”_

_(that night, the operation went according to the plan. april was assigned to another post, far away from august and december, while both of them were to copy the data and leave. it was an easy operation, so everything should’ve gone smoothly._

_they would come home. maybe august will go back to work at the candy shop as misha. maybe april will go back to work at the company as utsuki chikage. who knows what december does, but maybe he will live as mikage hisoka. they will wait for christmas, where they will have gingerbread again._

_there would be enough times to go to dates with august, just like how he always wished._

_there would be plenty of times—that will never come._

_“the plan has been foiled. enemy knows our plan. august and december are down. proceed to retreat immediately.”)_

april accepts the risk of working as an assassin. if he dies, that’d be okay for him. december and august might not be okay, but at least if april dies, he won’t see them being sad.

if august and december die, april won’t know what to do next. he might be dead as well.

* * *

april undergoes a 6-hour long interrogations the following morning. the organization suspects december for spoiling the plan to the enemy. his body is missing, unable to be recovered; december is pronounced dead and charged for treason.

“do you know anything else about december before the operation?”

what does april know, anyway? last time he talked with december, he promised to keep august alive. august is dead. december is missing and presumed dead. if he did spoil the plan, he would kill december immediately; but for now—

“nothing. december didn’t show any sign of treason.”

he would like to—

“very well. go back to your post.”

“...understood.”

_—he’s not even allowed to mourn for august. and december._

* * *

he throws himself at work for both the company he used as the disguise during their time in japan and the organization. april requested to be placed in japan, as he would continue disguising as utsuki chikage. they agreed to his request and let him do whatever he wants as long as he keeps his loyalty to the organization.

it’s not hard to work for two companies when work keeps coming. april, as utsuki chikage, gained a promotion several months ago, so his workload is added. one would think april overworks himself too much, but april is okay with that.

without august and december, there are not much to do other than working himself to exhaustion—and april doesn’t get exhausted easily.

april has lost count of days he had gone without sleep. he doesn’t need much sleep to function properly, anyway, and thankfully so. every time he closes his eyes, he would see august and december. december would always be asleep on august’s lap, and august would always smile at him. he would always say, “april, welcome home.” and april would wake up in an instant, realising that he has lost his home.

he doesn’t need—doesn’t want—to see all of that every night, so it’s a blessing that his body doesn’t require much sleep. if august were alive, he would nag april for not sleeping enough— but if august were alive, april wouldn’t have to dream about him every time.

but sometimes, when his eyes sting from staring at his screen too long, he would remember august even though he’s not asleep.

_(“april, you need to sleep.”_

_“i’m not sleepy yet.”_

_“december is asleep already, and it’s 2 now. you can always continue your work next morning right?”_

_april doesn’t refuse when august wraps his arms around him. the warmth of august’s body reminds him of how cold his room is._

_“don’t lump me in the same category as him, august.”_

_he can feel the vibration of august’s chest on his back as the older man laughs. “okay, okay. i’m going to stay here then, until you decide to go to sleep.”_

_“you don’t need to.”_

_“if i don’t do that, you won’t go to sleep, april. and doesn’t my hug make you warm? you’re cold.”_

_“...okay, fine,” april fiddles with his keyboard and the screen goes blank. “let’s sleep.”)_

maybe, april’s body does need sleep. but maybe, april is not used to sleep without august ushering him to, yet, so there’s that.

**Author's Note:**

> this was so hard to write and so rusty aaaa apologies on that... orz the dialogue between april & december about getting august out of the mission alive is taken directly from the game, act 5 chapter 23.
> 
> i know gekkagumi probably underwent some little-to-no-sleep training so my headcanon is that august also tuck april to sleep :)
> 
> talk with me on  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/%5Bsttscgsk%5D)


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